Omniscient, Just Say No

 On one of the blogs I follow, a reader asked about whether she should use omniscient viewpoint in her first chapter.  In omniscient viewpoint you read the thoughts of all or most of the characters' heads as well as get an overview of what is happening outside of the character viewpoint.  Here is my reply.

These days, people have so many ways to entertain themselves that reading has a hard time even being considered, let alone being in the top five of how someone wants to spend their down time and money.  As writers, we have to figure out why our stories should be part of that down time.  What does reading this story give that no other entertainment gives?  

Science has helped here by studying the brain activity of readers.  "Being there" is what readers want.  They want to be in the story and feel, see, taste and sense through character viewpoint.  The character's reactions make our brains experience the same thing, and this makes the brain and reader very happy.  Omniscient viewpoint's main target is the intellect which works for some readers, but it doesn't offer those wonderful I'm-there brain reactions a majority want.  

Another reason not to use omniscient is that newer writers suck at it, every single time.  It's a landscape of bad craft land mines that the ignorant writer skips happily through, blissfully unaware that the reader experience is being destroyed in his path.  Once the craft is master level after years of writing and the writer reaches excellence, he may decide omniscient POV should be tried.  Even then, he'll probably start a few chapters then go "Hell, no. This is tripe."  End of omniscient experience.  

As a writing teacher, I'm guessing that the real reason the question asker wants that fantasy first chapter as omniscient is she wants to info dump all her worldbuilding in one spot because she thinks the reader needs this pile of worldbuilding vomit NOW.  Spoiler alert:  They don't.  

So, listen to agents, editors, other authors, writing teachers, and readers, and just so no to omniscient.  

Listen to the Force, Luke Skywriter

 I'm of the firm belief that a writer's subconscious is busy planting things the writer is blind to at the moment. 

When I rework a novel, I'll find lots of foreshadowing of events I didn't think I'd planned until the moment I wrote it, and I'll discover that certain types of metaphors or images keep appearing that fit a theme or event I didn't know was coming.

Part of the trick for a writer is going back over your work and building on the bread crumb hints left by your subconscious.  Make it obvious enough that the reader’s subconscious also picks up these crumbs to create more resonance in the novel.  

NOTE: My subconscious  just showed its unhappiness of my comments by making me unable to spell "subconscious" which is a word I normally spell with ease.

No One To Talk To

 A few weeks ago, I wrote a post on characters having conversations with themselves so I thought I’d talk about similar situations in my own writing.

In my novel, STAR-CROSSED, my hero has no one but the heroine to talk to in the first part of the novel.  To cover topics he wouldn’t discuss with her, I didn't want lots of internal monologue or flashbacks which tend to be boring.  

What I ended up doing was letting him have imaginary conversations with his best friend.  Since he was also stuck in one place, I put these conversations at interesting locations from their shared past that showed more about the hero and his past.

The first conversation, for example, was in a bar on a Wild West style planet where the two friends have rescued a sweet young thing during a bar fight.  The two characters shared a beer, talked a bit about the good ol' days, and the hero spilled his guts about what was bothering him.  

At other times, the best friend was the devil's advocate for one side of a choice that the hero was trying to make.  

If you do something like this, it needn't be as elaborate as an entire scene.  It can just be the mental presence of someone whose opinion the character either values or can't escape. Most of us, for example, can hear our mom or dad in our head reminding us to do or not do something.  

I’ve also had a character talk things out aloud to a horse he was grooming or a cat she was stroking.  The animal’s actions, as if commenting with a purr, a snort, or the shake of the head, gave a nice light touch as well as making the scene more interesting than internal dialogue.

If you want the hero himself as the other character, you should choose some aspect of him you want to emphasize. Say Dr. Indiana Jones--the scholar versus Indiana Jones--the adventurer.

Set up the use of the mental dialogue/scene fairly early in the novel or story so that the important scene when the character finally must make the big decision won't make the reader go "huh?" when the other side of his personality or an imaginary character shows up to discuss the matter.

In other words, have the mental character show up a few times so the hero can tell his other side to shut up or whatever.

Writing Witty Dialogue

 Witty dialogue is found in most Regency romances, and the comedies of Shakespeare are rife with word plays and banter between clever characters, but it also has a place in other writing.

Put two clever characters with a sense of fun together and let them at each other so they duel with words, and the reader is in for a treat that requires as much attention to the word play as the characters must pay.

This is from an unpublished contemporary novel.

"You have the tail of an ass," Ariel said. 

David raised one eyebrow haughtily. "Women have told me I have a nice ass, but not one has mentioned a tail." 

"They told tales." 

"I am happy you are named for the sprite Ariel and not Puck. I could wake up with the head of an ass." 

“Don't toss Shakespeare at me, amateur, or speak of Bottom. Why change your head into an ass? It would be redundant since you act like one already." 

Witty dialogue, particularly in a romance, is emotional and personal foreplay.  It reinforces a sense that these people “get” each other and are equals emotionally and intellectually.  

Outside of romance, the most surprising and common use of witty dialogue is between the hero and the villain who also “get” each other.

Dueling with words can be just as much fun for the characters and the reader as dueling with swords, and just as dangerous.