QUESTION: I have trouble trying to figure out when to begin and end paragraphs and when to have dialogue included in the paragraph and when to have it stand on its own as an independent paragraph.
Unlike nonfiction, there are no hard and fast rules for paragraphing in fiction. Much of this is the writer's choice which is informed by experience as well as their need to emphasize certain things or break between actions.
And, surprisingly, some choices are as much visual as mental. Most readers, these days, don't like long paragraphs so many writers paragraph more frequently than did past writers.
Here are some good rules of thumb, though.
When you start with narrative followed by dialogue, the narrative should be about the person who will speak.
Adam studied the book's page then glanced back up at his friend. "Pete, we have a problem here."
If the narrative was about Pete, Adam's line would be in a new paragraph.
Pete watched his friend anxiously as he read the rule book.
"We have a problem here," Adam said.
If you have a long bit of narrative, it's usually a good stylistic choice to paragraph before the character's lines. This breaks up the lines visually, and it also emphasizes the dialogue.
When you are writing a long speech by a character, you paragraph to emphasize subject, changes in subject, and the rhythm of the scene.
If you aren't sure about any of the above, read the dialogue aloud as the character would speak it. Notice when you have natural pauses. That's a good place for a paragraph break.
Dialogue shouldn't be too long, though. Break it up with a bit of narrative like
Adam shook his head in disgust and continued,
Or have other characters react or comment.
"I can't believe Pete said that. It doesn't sound like him."
For straight narrative with no dialogue, you should paragraph when the action shifts to another character.
Pete tripped but caught himself before falling flat on his face.
Behind him, the sound of Adam's running feet moved toward him, then his friend stopped at his side.
On the whole issue of paragraphing, don't be too uptight about it.
As long as the reader is clear about what is happening and the page isn't covered by long paragraphs, he won't even notice when you paragraph.
REMINDER: You have just a few days left to sign up for my class on writing that all important first chapter. To learn more, go to
http://marilynnbyerly.com/marilynnbyerly/firstchapter.html
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Names versus Pronouns
QUESTION: When should I use the character's name and when should I use the personal pronouns "he" or "she?"
Name repetition reminds the reader that he is reading about a character, and it jerks him right out of that viewpoint character's head. For this reason, you should use the character's name once at the beginning of the scene, then you don't use it again except for clarity.
Moments when it's needed for clarity include scenes with more than one person of the same gender. In this example, two men are fighting. I use the hero's name then I use "he" or "him" or "his" until I name the other character (the drunk, opponent, the man)
<> From THE ONCE AND FUTURE QUEEN
In crowd scenes, I've always found that it's better to be a bit boring using the character's name, which the reader will skim, than to confuse the reader as to who is doing what action. This stops the reading process completely which is the one thing a writer should avoid at all costs.
As in real life, you shouldn't overuse characters' names to address each other in dialogue, either.
Names are most often used at the beginning of a conversation as people greet each other. "Hello, Mary, how are you?"
Or they're used to impart important or emotional information. "He's dead, Jim."
Or to direct conversation at one person in a group of people. "What's your opinion about this, Fred?"
Name repetition reminds the reader that he is reading about a character, and it jerks him right out of that viewpoint character's head. For this reason, you should use the character's name once at the beginning of the scene, then you don't use it again except for clarity.
Moments when it's needed for clarity include scenes with more than one person of the same gender. In this example, two men are fighting. I use the hero's name then I use "he" or "him" or "his" until I name the other character (the drunk, opponent, the man)
<
In crowd scenes, I've always found that it's better to be a bit boring using the character's name, which the reader will skim, than to confuse the reader as to who is doing what action. This stops the reading process completely which is the one thing a writer should avoid at all costs.
As in real life, you shouldn't overuse characters' names to address each other in dialogue, either.
Names are most often used at the beginning of a conversation as people greet each other. "Hello, Mary, how are you?"
Or they're used to impart important or emotional information. "He's dead, Jim."
Or to direct conversation at one person in a group of people. "What's your opinion about this, Fred?"
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Finding the right images, DESCRIPTION
On one writer listservs I belong on, a member who had always lived in warmer areas wanted to know about the different sounds snow on the ground make as you move through it and how various animals react to snow for some scenes in his novel.
He was smart to ask because the right visual details make a scene live, the wrong details ruin a scene.
Always ask if you don't have the experience to breath life into a certain kind of scene.
I've included my answer to the writer below. I'm an animal person so I described how various animals in my life have dealt with snow.
***
Cats are fun to watch in snow. In the morning after a snow, my cat will go outside very tentatively. Cats think of snow as water so you can imagine their distaste in treading through the soft new snow. If the snow is over his paws, he will bound through the snow even when he could walk through it easily. Snow collects on his stomach hair in little balls. He normally does his business then comes right in.
After the snow has frozen on top, usually overnight, he will walk on the top crust in virgin snow, or bound in tracks made by me the day before. Normally, he'll hunt then, but if the crust starts breaking under his weight, and that nasty snow is on him, he heads back in for a snack and a snooze.
A dog will tread through soft snow that is below the halfway point in his legs, but will bound like a bunny in anything higher. Snow sticks on the legs and in the pads and that is uncomfortable if their human doesn't clean them off occasionally. Water dogs such as retrievers adore snow, and catching and eating soft snowballs is enormously entertaining.
Horses tend to stride through snow unless it is high drifts, then they plunge and bound. They aren't naturally rhythmic like dogs and cats. They look more like they are going flat foot over hurdles than jumping forward like a cat or dog.
I don't know if it's a major problems with unshod horses, but shod horses have a terrible time with snow build up in their hooves. Wet snow cakes in their hooves, and it builds up so they end up walking on snow stilts. This is extremely dangerous for the horse. I remember cleaning out up to six inches in my horse's hooves.
I've read that horsemen in England would press butter into the hollow area in the bottom of the hoof to keep snow from building up during hunts and steeplechases, but I never attempted that with my horse.
He was smart to ask because the right visual details make a scene live, the wrong details ruin a scene.
Always ask if you don't have the experience to breath life into a certain kind of scene.
I've included my answer to the writer below. I'm an animal person so I described how various animals in my life have dealt with snow.
***
Cats are fun to watch in snow. In the morning after a snow, my cat will go outside very tentatively. Cats think of snow as water so you can imagine their distaste in treading through the soft new snow. If the snow is over his paws, he will bound through the snow even when he could walk through it easily. Snow collects on his stomach hair in little balls. He normally does his business then comes right in.
After the snow has frozen on top, usually overnight, he will walk on the top crust in virgin snow, or bound in tracks made by me the day before. Normally, he'll hunt then, but if the crust starts breaking under his weight, and that nasty snow is on him, he heads back in for a snack and a snooze.
A dog will tread through soft snow that is below the halfway point in his legs, but will bound like a bunny in anything higher. Snow sticks on the legs and in the pads and that is uncomfortable if their human doesn't clean them off occasionally. Water dogs such as retrievers adore snow, and catching and eating soft snowballs is enormously entertaining.
Horses tend to stride through snow unless it is high drifts, then they plunge and bound. They aren't naturally rhythmic like dogs and cats. They look more like they are going flat foot over hurdles than jumping forward like a cat or dog.
I don't know if it's a major problems with unshod horses, but shod horses have a terrible time with snow build up in their hooves. Wet snow cakes in their hooves, and it builds up so they end up walking on snow stilts. This is extremely dangerous for the horse. I remember cleaning out up to six inches in my horse's hooves.
I've read that horsemen in England would press butter into the hollow area in the bottom of the hoof to keep snow from building up during hunts and steeplechases, but I never attempted that with my horse.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Across a Crowded Room, DESCRIPTION
QUESTION: I have a scene in a restaurant where staff is coming and going. How do I describe that? Do I mention all the movement?
This is really about viewpoint. You are describing the scene from your viewpoint character's perspective. What will she see?
Imagine this. You are in your favorite romantic restaurant. Across from you is your special someone or your favorite sexy actor. You are eating your meal, flirting, and talking. Would you be aware of who is coming in and out of the room?
Your character in a similar situation would do the same thing.
Imagine this. You are in that restaurant with that sexy lover, but someone wants to kill you.
You would be very aware of who is coming and going in the room, and so would your viewpoint character.
If it's a situation that's emotionally neutral like a banquet meal with servants coming and going to bring food, you can say something like "A steady stream of servants, each with a large tray of food or an empty bowl, moved through the room tending the tables."
Then, unless there's a reason to mention the servants again, or a servant again, you don't mention them. The reader will fill in the visual blanks.
This is really about viewpoint. You are describing the scene from your viewpoint character's perspective. What will she see?
Imagine this. You are in your favorite romantic restaurant. Across from you is your special someone or your favorite sexy actor. You are eating your meal, flirting, and talking. Would you be aware of who is coming in and out of the room?
Your character in a similar situation would do the same thing.
Imagine this. You are in that restaurant with that sexy lover, but someone wants to kill you.
You would be very aware of who is coming and going in the room, and so would your viewpoint character.
If it's a situation that's emotionally neutral like a banquet meal with servants coming and going to bring food, you can say something like "A steady stream of servants, each with a large tray of food or an empty bowl, moved through the room tending the tables."
Then, unless there's a reason to mention the servants again, or a servant again, you don't mention them. The reader will fill in the visual blanks.
Monday, February 25, 2008
Too Much Information
You want to start a novel at an exciting moment that involves the main character which will draw the reader into the story to see what will happen next, but you can't give too much information, too soon.
Instead, you give the reader just enough information to understand what's going on.
For example, the main character faces an angry goblin in a dark alley of some major big city.
She can hear cars and a police siren which, unfortunately, is moving away from where she is. Mentally or aloud, she cusses her luck for choosing a job like this.
The goblin knocks her gun out of her hand, and it lands in the sewer drain so she lifts her hands, whispers a spell, and flames shoot of her hands, but the goblin doesn't go down. The injury makes him even angrier.
We now know she's a magic user of some sort, the world is ours or isn't ours by little details, that magical creatures can enter here, and it's her job to stop them, and she is in seriously deep poo because she is now defenseless against a furious goblin.
Later, you'll tell the reader about her role as a Guardian of normal Earth and, later still, about her home on a parallel magic world, but you'll do it in bits and pieces like clues to a puzzle the reader is trying to understand.
Having these clues of the world and trying to understand it is as important a puzzle for the reader as the plot, and it's as enjoyable. Don't cheat the reader by giving away too much.
Instead, you give the reader just enough information to understand what's going on.
For example, the main character faces an angry goblin in a dark alley of some major big city.
She can hear cars and a police siren which, unfortunately, is moving away from where she is. Mentally or aloud, she cusses her luck for choosing a job like this.
The goblin knocks her gun out of her hand, and it lands in the sewer drain so she lifts her hands, whispers a spell, and flames shoot of her hands, but the goblin doesn't go down. The injury makes him even angrier.
We now know she's a magic user of some sort, the world is ours or isn't ours by little details, that magical creatures can enter here, and it's her job to stop them, and she is in seriously deep poo because she is now defenseless against a furious goblin.
Later, you'll tell the reader about her role as a Guardian of normal Earth and, later still, about her home on a parallel magic world, but you'll do it in bits and pieces like clues to a puzzle the reader is trying to understand.
Having these clues of the world and trying to understand it is as important a puzzle for the reader as the plot, and it's as enjoyable. Don't cheat the reader by giving away too much.
Friday, February 22, 2008
Far Away Places
QUESTION: I want to set my novel in India, but I've never been there. My main character comes into India from America. Can I pull this off?
I'm a born and bred Southern, and I can almost always tell when a non-Southerner is writing about the South. Words and expressions are used wrong, facts are wrong, the texture of the landscape and weather is wrong, etc., etc. That's one reason I rarely stray from the South as a location for my books since I'm probably as culturally clueless about other parts of the US as these people are about the South.
You will have the advantage, though, of having a stranger come into India so mistakes made in her viewpoint will be hers, not yours, in the reader's eyes.
The culture and landscape will be so vastly different that anyone from outside would be overwhelmed by its alien quality and miss much of the nuances. Essentially, that means that she will view India as an impressionistic painting, not as a photographic image, so that certain things will connect with her senses and others will be missed.
My major suggestions are to read recent travelogues about that area as well as watch TV show travelogues. Memoirs from Americans or Europeans living in India should also prove to be a valuable resource about the clash of cultures.
The Internet is a wondrous resource, and it's very easy to connect with people from all over the world. When you have your work in a readable form, try to find people who know that area to read those parts of the books. That should help, too.
HAVE A WRITING QUESTION?: Feel free to ask me via this blog or by email. My address is marilynn byerly @ aol. com (Remove the spaces)
REMINDER; I'm teaching an online class in March on writing the first chapter. To learn more, go here
http://marilynnbyerly.com/marilynnbyerly/firstchapter.html
I'm a born and bred Southern, and I can almost always tell when a non-Southerner is writing about the South. Words and expressions are used wrong, facts are wrong, the texture of the landscape and weather is wrong, etc., etc. That's one reason I rarely stray from the South as a location for my books since I'm probably as culturally clueless about other parts of the US as these people are about the South.
You will have the advantage, though, of having a stranger come into India so mistakes made in her viewpoint will be hers, not yours, in the reader's eyes.
The culture and landscape will be so vastly different that anyone from outside would be overwhelmed by its alien quality and miss much of the nuances. Essentially, that means that she will view India as an impressionistic painting, not as a photographic image, so that certain things will connect with her senses and others will be missed.
My major suggestions are to read recent travelogues about that area as well as watch TV show travelogues. Memoirs from Americans or Europeans living in India should also prove to be a valuable resource about the clash of cultures.
The Internet is a wondrous resource, and it's very easy to connect with people from all over the world. When you have your work in a readable form, try to find people who know that area to read those parts of the books. That should help, too.
HAVE A WRITING QUESTION?: Feel free to ask me via this blog or by email. My address is marilynn byerly @ aol. com (Remove the spaces)
REMINDER; I'm teaching an online class in March on writing the first chapter. To learn more, go here
http://marilynnbyerly.com/marilynnbyerly/firstchapter.html
Thursday, February 21, 2008
When Should I get my Website Online?
There is no hard and fast rule about when to have your own site up and running, but it will be one of your most expensive ongoing costs of being an author so keep that in mind as you decide.
Some recommend that you have a website even before you begin the submission process for your first novel. Supposedly, those editors and agents will be checking you out when they look at your submission.
This is probably a good recommendation if you are trying to sell nonfiction, and you are an expert on the subject, but I've never heard of an agent or an editor looking up an unpublished author on the web.
Others suggest you set up your website as soon as possible after signing the contract. This will allow you plenty of time to concentrate on the site before you become too busy with other aspects of prepublication.
The last suggestion, and the most common one, is to have the site up just before the book shows up in the bookstores.
My own feelings are that you should have the site up at least four to six months before the publication of your book.
During this period, the publisher will start marketing your book to various distributors, early advance review copies will be sent out for quotes, and a certain amount of buzz will be starting about your book.
If your website is up, you can take advantage of this early period, and you can also improve your book's chances that it will be picked up by major distributors because they will often look at a site to see what kind of promotion the author will offer.
Some recommend that you have a website even before you begin the submission process for your first novel. Supposedly, those editors and agents will be checking you out when they look at your submission.
This is probably a good recommendation if you are trying to sell nonfiction, and you are an expert on the subject, but I've never heard of an agent or an editor looking up an unpublished author on the web.
Others suggest you set up your website as soon as possible after signing the contract. This will allow you plenty of time to concentrate on the site before you become too busy with other aspects of prepublication.
The last suggestion, and the most common one, is to have the site up just before the book shows up in the bookstores.
My own feelings are that you should have the site up at least four to six months before the publication of your book.
During this period, the publisher will start marketing your book to various distributors, early advance review copies will be sent out for quotes, and a certain amount of buzz will be starting about your book.
If your website is up, you can take advantage of this early period, and you can also improve your book's chances that it will be picked up by major distributors because they will often look at a site to see what kind of promotion the author will offer.
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