Maintaining Tone

QUESTION: I have very abbreviated writing time so I can only work in spurts so my mood comes into the text sometimes. How can I stop that? 

The trick to holding the tone of the scene is to remember that you are the viewpoint character. You are seeing what she sees and feeling what she feels. Writing character is like immersion or method acting where you become the character.

This takes a bit of practice, but after a bit, you can switch between characters and personalities with ease as you change POV, and you can also inhabit the other characters in the scene so they continue to act as you've conceived them, and their dialogue is in character.

You also have to remember that your character should be reacting to what is happening at that moment rather than constantly sliding into introspection about the rest of her life. If you and she remains in the moment of the scene, neither of you will lose the right voice or tone of the scene. 

Pushing Humor Too Far

 The mystery series was a cozy with a light tone and humorous moments, but the third book in the series started with the murder of the heroine’s closest friend and moved through the next days with sleuthing as well as the process of grieving for and burying someone you love.

I imagine most would agree that this situation is not a comedy waiting to happen.  Unfortunately, the writer was so desperate to bring the light tone in that she proceeded to add slapstick.  

At the family visitation, one of the heroine’s friends pretends to knee the heroine’s boyfriend, her heel breaks, and she really kicks him in the jewels.

The heroine receives a threatening phone call, then her bedroom door knob jiggles.  She slips as she reaches for a Taser and bangs her head, then, before she realizes it’s a cop friend, she shoots him as he enters her room and he slips banging his head.  They end up concussed together on the bed where her friend discovers them the next morning and has a fun time wondering what went on between the not-a-couple.

I could only shake my head during these scenes that so desperately tried to add humor to a situation that wasn’t funny.  Not only was the over-the-top-to-the-point-of-ridiculous humor displaced, it tried so hard that the book fell apart.  

Moments like this are what trusted critique partners, beta readers, and good editors are all about.  They should have told the writer that sometimes a light tone just doesn’t fit the situation, and that poor taste and slapstick have no place in certain situations.  

How can you judge this with your own writing?  Think of your novel as a movie.  If you are writing a mystery movie full of dark atmosphere and duplicitous suspects, a scene from DUMB AND DUMBER just won’t  fit, will it?  A light moment of character revelation or a funny story about a victim would.  

Stay true to the tone that’s needed and listen to your early readers.  That’s more important than trying to maintain the tone of the series.  If not staying true bothers you, then find another plot that will fit that tone. 

Using Music in Your Fiction

Music is extremely powerful, evoking intense emotion, history, memory, and physical movement in a way that fiction and most other types of communication cannot.  Many writers used that emotional and historical element by mentioning music titles and song lyrics as a short hand for those emotions.  

But here’s the problem.  Music has copyright protectors who are beyond zealots.  Copyright fair use and proper attribution which are both perfectly legal don’t matter to them, and they, usually ASCAP, will go after a writer for even the slightest mention.  They have the lawyers and the money so they win almost every time.  

If an author does go through ASCAP, the band’s legal people, or a brand like Disney to license a few lines, the costs are ridiculous.  An acquaintance tried, and using two lines of a lyric from an obscure band would have cost her more than she’d make for the life of the book.  

So, what’s a writer to do?  Some write their own song lyrics.  Others work very carefully around the ridiculous copyright landmines.

Here, in two scenes from my unpublished novel, THE LAUGHING GOD’S KISS, which involved a hero with a fondness for music. Cautiously treading around those copyright landmines, I use a song title, a few words of the lyrics, or some careful editing to evoke those emotions.  They also reflect emotional moments for two people who are already falling in love but refuse to admit it, even to themselves.  

Storm bent over his guitar and started  "Yesterday."  

Gazing around at all the rapt faces in the living room, Victoria realized this was a virgin audience for the song.  These isolated people had never even heard of the Beatles.  

Storm sang, his voice catching with melancholy at the loss of a great and true love.  His face, for the first time, was vulnerable and open with emotion.

Victoria's heart twisted with his pain as she wondered whom he'd loved so much and why he'd lost her. 

***

Across the pasture, a familiar baritone voice sang softly.  Victoria caught the words "corn" and "elephant's eye."  Intrigued, she moved closer.

His back to her, Storm brushed briskly on the black gelding as he sang.  The black's ears were cocked back to hear him.  His other three horses watched him, their ears forward.  None of them had a rope or line on, each held by his voice and presence.

Equally entranced, Victoria sat down in the shade of a nearby tree. 

Storm sang "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" with the feeling and skill worthy of Broadway, his black velvet voice soaring.   

As his voice faded at the end of the song, the horses began to fidget.

Storm began "If I Loved You.“

Victoria closed her eyes to savor the music.  The song was about love unadmitted yet so tenderly expressed.  It had moved her when she'd seen Carousel. 

If a voice could make love to a woman, then Storm Morgan had that voice.  Victoria let the song take her where it would.

NOTE:  

    No, I’m not saying copyright is wrong, or you should ignore it.  Those who have followed me for years know that I’m a strong proponent of copyright, I write informative articles about it, and I’ve fought piracy for many years.  However, ASCAP and friends are using their money and clout to stop even fair use which is not okay.  As usual this disclaimer, I’m not a lawyer and can’t offer legal advice.  My examples are how I would avoid being sued by ASCAP.  You must decide for yourself whether to risk a lawsuit or nastygram from some lawyers.

Semicolons in Fiction, CRAFT

QUESTION: Someone told me I shouldn't use semicolons in my stories. Why?

First, a grammar reminder about semicolons (;). The three most common uses of a semicolon are

*Compound sentences when a conjunction (and, or, but) isn't used.

The wind blew through the trees; the chimes sang like angels.

*Compound sentences when a conjunctive adverb (however, therefore, nevertheless) is used.

The wind blew through the trees; however, the chimes remained silent.

*Sentences with long, joined clauses which may have commas.

The wind blew through the trees, I was told; but because the chimes had become tangled, their sounds did not echo through the forest.

As you can see from the examples, most semicolon sentence structures have a formal quality to them that is uncommon in fiction but is often found in nonfiction. In other words, it belongs in nonfiction, not fiction, particularly genre fiction with its more vernacular style.

Use the semicolon as rarely as you would an exclamation point in narrative, and only when nothing else will do for clarity.

If you find yourself using semicolons quite often, your narrative voice is probably too heavy or didactic for popular fiction.