Making Info Tidbits Palatable

No matter what kind of novel you write, you’ll face the problem of how to share bits of information with your reader.

These bits are minor plot or character clues that the main character and the reader need to know to go forward to a logical conclusion.

Often, these small clues come from different sources, but writing a scene for each bit of information often slows the pace to a crawl.  What to do?

One method is delegation.  Have your character delegate the task of finding out this information to a secondary character who will do it off page.  The secondary character will report back and in one scene present all the necessary information.  This method is often used in mysteries, but it can be just as effective in any genre novel.

The second method is finding a gossip, expert, or reporter who already knows the information.  To make this scene work, make that gossip or expert a bit larger than life, funny, or someone who knows embarrassing things about the main character so the scene is interesting.  

The most important thing to remember when doing this is to make it integral to the novel and to make it a logical choice for the main character to make.

Starting with the Murder Victim

 A common practice on TV mysteries is to start out with the discovery of the dead body.  NCIS, for example, is notorious for funny or gross body discoveries to start the mystery.  

Or the show uses the ever popular death on screen of the victim of the week.  Unless it’s COLUMBO, the viewer doesn’t know the identity of the murderer.  They just see some poor soul chased and murdered.

That’s TV, a very visual medium, but is it a good idea to start with the murder or the murder victim?  

Like all things in writing, it depends.  Here are some possible reasons to start with the body or the murder.

The writer makes the reader care immediately with a personable or sympathetic victim in viewpoint.  Clues and false clues can be presented to get the reader’s crime-solving started at that first page.  

The murderer as the viewpoint character ups the scare factor because it’s obvious he intends to do it again as a serial killer, or he has a vendetta against the book’s hero.  The hero may realize this, early on, but the reader knows already and is flipping pages like mad because he’s worried about the main character.  

Reader expectations.  If this book is about solving a murder, and the main character is a professional crime solver,  the body should be front and center from the beginning.  Only a cozy mystery is allowed some time to set up the characters, etc., without the reader getting bored.  

Atmosphere.  A chase through the darkness or the murder can really set the book’s tone and atmosphere.  This is more a side effect of the other reasons to start with the murder, and shouldn’t be the only reason.

Excitement before the boring part.  If the mystery needs considerable set up, the murder gets the reader reading then hopefully keeps him reading until the pace picks up a bit.

Later then now.  A technique which is no longer popular with good reason is to start at the murder, then go back in narrative time before that point.  It’s a cheap trick that will make most readers roll their eyes.  Use with great caution.  

Murderers and Methods

The type of fight and the type of characters control all elements of a fight or a killing.

A professional killer will handle a murder very differently from an amateur murderer or someone who pulls out a knife during a heated argument.

The killing will also be different according to the victim's abilities in self-defense, their weapon or lack of weapon, the amount of surprise in the attack, etc., etc.

The way the knife is used can tell a great deal about the killer.  Did he put the knife into the heart without hitting a rib?  Did he grab the victim from behind in a certain way and hit the artery in the throat for a quick kill? Was his killing method distinctive enough to mark him as a pro or someone trained in a certain military skill?  Was his knife unusual or a standard hunting knife used by most local hunters? Was it sharp and well-maintained, or did it bruise and tear because it was dull?

A murder or killing should be as distinctive as the victim and the murder, and all elements of their personality, weapons skills, and location will determine the type of murder.

The Back Plot Thickens

 Tell me the plot of "The Hound of the Baskervilles." 

Easy enough, you say. A country doctor comes to Sherlock Holmes and Watson for help. The local lord has died of heart failure. But there were a giant hound's tracks near his body, and there's this family legend about....

But is that the only plot? 

Not really. Long before old Sir Charles is frightened to death by a hound, there is a man in South America, a distant relative of Sir Charles, who decides he will be the new lord of Baskerville Hall so he changes his name, makes his wife pretend to be his sister, and....

Some mystery writers call this second storyline the back plot. It is the story behind the story. The detective's plot is the discovery of the back plot. Holmes must reconstruct the murderer's back plot through the clues left behind. He must understand what happened before.

This twining together of two plots is the glory of the mystery and the agony of the mystery writer for she must not only have one plot which is logical and interesting. She must also create a second which intersects it backwards in time.

No, that's not crazy. Think about it. A murder occurs, and the detective investigates. He finds clues, and these clues point toward the past of the victim and the murderer. The detective must decipher these clues to discover the who, what, when, where, and why of the murder. He must travel back in time to the murderer and his motives. 

Holmes studies the crime scene, the stories of the butterfly collector, the sounds of the moor, and the ancestor's portrait, as well as other clues, to find that distant Baskerville relative who has designs on the family fortune.

How does a writer create these two plot lines? The answer to that is as diverse as the authors questioned. 

Some create the back story, pick the relevant clues to pepper the novel with, then set their detective to work.

Other writers are as surprised as their detective at the murder scene and never guess the killer until the last chapter. Somehow the clues through the miracle of the writer's subconscious have pointed to the murderer all along.

Still other writers mix a little of both methods. Cold calculations about clues and the killer's identity are leavened by the spontaneous generosity of the writer's muse. The writer is as surprised as the reader to discover why the killer hums but never sings and how that fits so perfectly into the puzzle.

No one can tell you what method to use to create a perfect blend of detective's plot and back plot. Each writer must discover what works best for her. But the wise writer takes the time after the book is written and before the rewriting to ask herself, "What is the plot? Does it make sense? Is it complete?"

Then the even wiser writer asks the same questions about the back plot. The wisest writer also remembers that in the back plot the killer is the major protagonist, and it here where the true heart of the novel lies.

Now tell me the plot of "The Hound of the Baskervilles."

Making the Victim Matter

Mystery, romantic suspense, and urban fantasy novels often start with a dead body, and the main character’s goal is to find out the who, what, when, where, and why of his death so she can solve the crime.  

The first hook for the reader is curiosity about the victim and the crime as well as the main detective/character’s personality, etc.  

Most readers will allow the writer time to set up the situation and to gather the first clues, but a certain point, the reader’s patience and interest will wear thin unless the writer gives the reader a reason to care about the victim.  Simply getting justice for the victim isn’t enough to keep most readers reading the whole novel.  

The simplest way to make the reader care is to make the victim someone the reader would care about instantly -- a child, an innocent, a good person, or a person with a job that matters like being a school teacher, doctor, social worker, or an honest cop.  

Even someone who was a jerk or bad person will matter if he died doing something decent, or he had survivors who care.  A weeping mother or wife who begs for justice is a strong motivator for the detective and the reader because they create an emotional stake in the person’s death.  If the detective must prove it was murder, not suicide, so the young widow with little kids will get death benefits, the solution will matter.

If nothing about the victim will give the detective or the reader any reason to care that he was murdered, then the detective must have another reason to solve the crime.  Perhaps, he will lose his job because his failure rate at solving crimes is so high, or he’s caught in a political situation where only solving this crime will save his career.  The victim could be one of a string of serial killings, but the killer has made several sloppy mistakes in this killing which could be his downfall so the detective is trying to stop other murders as well as solving this one.  

A method used in TV shows like CSI or BONES is to make the good guys and their scientific methods as important as the crime’s solution.  We care about them more than the rotting corpse of the abusive pimp at the crime scene, and their lives are the soap opera that drives the emotional plot while the science drives the mystery plot.  

Having the killer go after the detective or people he cares about is also a tried and true method to make the solution matter.

Whatever method you use, just remember that the main character’s goal in solving the crime must be a strong and worthy one, and the emotional reasons for the solution must matter to both the reader and the detective.  

 

Jim Butcher's STORM FRONT, Part 7 of 7

SUMMATION:  

Jim Butcher uses the detective PI mystery to drive the plot of this novel but makes it his own by using fantasy elements for the worldbuilding and characters.  

Harry is the strongest element in this novel with his courage, honor, and smart mouth, and he's a character we can care about through a series.  

STORM FRONT is a very strong beginning to a series that continues to grow in popularity and creative potential, and it's a story every urban fantasy writer should study carefully.

Jim Butcher's STORM FRONT, Part 6

THE OTHER CHARACTERS

KARRIN MURPHY

Murphy is Harry's foil in many ways.  

[A foil is a character whose differences highlight a central character.  For example, in Hamlet, rash, impulsive Laertes is deliberate Hamlet's foil.]

She works within and around the system, and she only occasionally gets caught in situations where she takes it on the chin.  Most of these situations involve helping Harry rescue someone.  Her mouth stays firmly shut at the right times, and she's capable of the bon mot or the vicious verbal attack when needed.  

She is also more of a realist about the world than Harry is.  

Like Harry, she is loyal and brave, and she is willing to risk anything for the innocent.

BOB

Bob is Harry's magical computer, his inner voice of cynicism about the world and magic, and his comic relief when things are bad. 

Although a supposedly emotionless being of spirit, Bob seems to develop both a conscience and a sense of loyalty to Harry as the series goes on.  Several times, Bob chooses to save Harry when he could do nothing.

MORGAN

Warden Morgan is not only a foil to Murphy's good cop, he is a foil to Harry's helpful wizard by being so rigid in his moral outlook and his job that he no longer functions as he should as a Warden.  Three Eye and the black wizard are his job, not Harry's.  

JOHN MARCONE

Marcone has an icy predator's soul, but he's also got a code of honor as strong as Harry's.  He is arguably the most interesting and unexpected secondary character in the series because he always surprises with his choices.  

The moment he walks into a plot, it is hard to guess if he's there to help or try to destroy Harry,  or do both.  The reader and Harry must keep an eye on him and must not be lulled by moments of good because the predator will emerge again.

VICTOR SELLS

As I mentioned in the section on the detective novel, Sells is Harry's opposite as well as his opponent.  Sells is not only the black wizard, he is the anti-Harry of the novel.  He is what Harry could be if he'd made different choices.

In that sense, Sells is an excellent plot device for showing Harry's backstory by making it front story.  He allows Butcher to give a wider view of magic by showing the dark side, and he is the perfect opponent for a first novel.

He also walks between the two worlds of our world and the magical world so he reflects the evil possible in both.

BIANCA, THE VAMPIRE

Unlike the other creatures here, Bianca isn't controlled by anyone else, and she's a thinking, plotting, and hating monster who now has Harry in her sights.  

Her part in this novel is small, and the information she proves could be gotten easily enough elsewhere.  Instead, she is a early taste of what the series will offer. 

PART SEVEN:

http://mbyerly.blogspot.com/2013/06/jim-butchers-storm-front-part-7-of-7.html

Jim Butcher's STORM FRONT, Part 5

PLOT, CAN YOU TOP THIS?

One of the most important things an author who writes action scenes must do is make sure each action scene comes alive, and every scene where the hero faces the bad guys must have the hero stretched to his limit just to hold his own.

The fights must become more difficult to win, and the final battle must be the most intense one of all.  The risk of losing for the hero is greater than his own death, and to win, he must lose something of inestimable value to himself.  This can include his life.

(To learn more about writing fight and action scenes, read my article on the subject.

http://marilynnbyerly.com/page9k.html )

In STORM FRONT, Butcher not only follows this method, he ups the ante to the point of the ridiculous.  Everything that Harry faces up to that point in the novel-- the toad demon, the black wizard, the giant scorpion, and guns-- are part of the final attack, and he faces it totally exhausted and injured.

Sure, it's fun, but it's so over the top I had difficulty taking it seriously, and it belied the tone of the rest of the novel.

Harry does, however, choose death to save others from the black wizard, and he only survives because Morgan rescues him from the burning house.

Butcher's can-you-top-this point of the ridiculous hits its peak in SMALL FAVOR when Harry faces the three Billy Goats Gruff with the final one so massive he might as well be facing Godzilla.  

In recent novels, fortunately, he's backed away from this by giving Harry better back up against the various monsters and demons facing him.

THE CHARACTERS

WE'RE JUST WILD ABOUT HARRY

Harry Dresden is the voice of the series, and he is also the heart of the series.  Without such a successfully written character, there would be no "Dresden Files."

What is it about Harry that draws the reader?  

His good points:

A sense of humor about the world and himself.  Darkness and disaster surround him, and he's becoming the most powerful wizard as well as the go-to guy to stop the supernatural and real world from going to hell, but he doesn't take himself too seriously, and he can see the ridiculous in all this.  

Bravery.  Even when afraid, like in the scene where he finally faces the black wizard in STORM FRONT, he still goes forward to face his enemy.  

Kindness and an inability to turn away someone in need.  That includes a stray cat and even his nemesis, Morgan.

Chivalry toward the weak and a willingness to fight for what is right.  

A good leader who inspires loyalty.  In STORM FRONT, he starts out by himself except for a little help from Murphy and Mac the bar owner, but by CHANGES, he has an army of friends, frenemies, and powerful beings who owe him debts.  Even his enemies no longer treat him with contempt.

WE'RE JUST MILD ABOUT HARRY:

For every good point, Harry has a bad point that makes us crazy:  

Bravado.  He will start a fight that he probably won't win because of sheer cussedness. 

A big mouth.  He makes enemies because he can't shut up, can't give up a chance for cleverness, and can't admit to himself that he is out of his depths and should shut up.

Secrecy/trust issues.  Not until later in the series does Harry finally come clean about the wizarding world and its secrets to his closest allies like Karrin Murphy.  In STORM FRONT, even a little bit of information about why he couldn't duplicate the heart-exploding black magic or tell her about some of the things happening would have kept her on his side, but he won't even do that. 

An unwilling to ask for help.  Morgan isn't the only person he knows in the wizarding world.  Couldn't he contact Ebenezar McCoy when he found out about Three Eye?  

A problem with authority figures.  He treats Morgan, various nonhumans, and those above Murphy in rank with disrespect.  When he needs help, he can't get it from them.

WHY CHARACTER FLAWS ARE GOOD

All of Harry's bad personality traits are good plot providers.  They keep him constantly at a disadvantage in individual scenes as well as through the novel plots.

However, a writer of Butcher's calibre could have made Harry far less self-destructive and had stronger novels.

PART SIX:

http://mbyerly.blogspot.com/2013/06/jim-butchers-storm-front-part-6.html

Jim Butcher's STORM FRONT, Part 4

SCHEDULE NOTE:  “Links of Interest” will be back next Wednesday.

STORM FRONT, FANTASY WORLD

As I said earlier, the mystery may drive the urban fantasy plot, but the worldbuilding is strictly fantasy.

Butcher's world contains many of the standard tropes and characters of a English-based fantasy-- magic, magic users, vampires, the fae, other magical creatures, and a magical realm--the NeverNever.  

In later novels, he'll toss in Odin and a Valkyrie as well as Biblical demons and their slayers from the Christian belief system, among others.  

MAGIC

Butcher's wizard magic is generic and found in many fantasy novels and games.  The primary methods of magic are--

Evocation--physical expression of magic.  Flames from the hands, etc.  Must be line of sight to the victim.

Potions--ingredients reflect elements of what you want to achieve.  See page 100 for an explanation.

Thaumaturgy--Evil magic in Dresden's world.  "As above, so below."  Voodoo correspondence.  Not evil in other fantasy worlds.

Invocation--prayer or supplication to a powerful being.  I don't recall Harry using this, but black wizards call evil beings.  The Knights of the Cross also invoke God.

VAMPIRES

In the novels, there are four types of vampires.  STORM FRONT mentions them, but Bianca, a Red Court vampire, is a minor character.  

Each type of vampire has been used elsewhere in folklore and fantasy. 

Red Court--Bat-like and hideous but with the illusion of human beauty.  Their venom is addictive.

Black Court--The traditional vampires like Dracula.  They are few in number and secretive.  

White Court--Psychic vampires who feed on strong emotions, particularly sexual ones.  They often kill during the feeding. The ability is inherited.

Jade Court--Asian vampires no one seems to know anything about.

THE FAE (FAIRES)

The fae are only mentioned in passing in STORM FRONT. 

They fall into two rough divisions: the Summer Court (the Seelie) and the Winter Court (the Unseelie).  Neither court is absolutely good or evil which is a foreign concept to them.  They are as capricious as nature.  

Butcher primarily follows standard folklore conventions in creating them. 

DEWDROP FAIRIES

Toot Toot, the tiny nature fairy that Harry captures and questions, is a dewdrop fairy.  Short of stature and memory, they can be a nuisance, but they are first-rate information gatherers.

THE OUTSIDERS

The creature "He who walks behind" that left his mark on Harry's soul after Harry defeated but didn't kill him is an Outsider.

These are beings outside our universe--the Outer Gates--with powers so great that one of the laws of magic forbids calling them.

I think of them as Cthulhu's relatives.

THE NEVERNEVER

A magical world where most of the magicals reside. The two Fae courts own most of its territory.  It has special entrances through the real world.  

Wizards live in our world, but use the NeverNever as a fast means of transport around our world.

SPECIAL MAGICAL ABILITIES AND ELEMENTS OF MAGIC

In STORM FRONT, special aspects of wizards' magical ability and skills are mentioned.

The soulgaze is when a wizard and another human meet eyes, and they can see into each other's soul to get a sense of that person.

The sight is the ability to see beyond reality to the magical aspects of a person and reality.  Harry uses it several times in the novel.  The most memorable time is when he looks at the magical corruption of evil magic at the lake house. The sight can't be used for very long.  The drug Three Eye duplicates this experience for nonmagicals and drives them mad.

A death curse is the final act of a wizard who flings his death curse upon the person killing him.  It requires so much life force that it will kill him if his enemy doesn't.

The Laws of Magic are also mentioned.  (Listed on Jim Butcher's website.)

The Laws are:

1. Thou shalt not kill by use of magic. 

2. Thou shalt not transform others. 

3. Thou shalt not invade the mind of another. 

4. Thou shalt not enthrall another. 

5. Thou shalt not reach beyond the Borders of Life. 

6. Thou shalt not swim against the Currents of Time. 

7. Thou shalt not seek beyond the Outer Gates.

Thou shalt not kill and not enthrall are both mentioned in STORM FRONT.

WHAT BUTCHER DOES WITH THESE FANTASY ELEMENTS

All of these fantasy elements are presented only as they relate to Harry, his past, and the plot of the novel.  

Few are presented in great detail so the reader isn't inundated with massive amounts of information to process.  

Most of the information that will have a great impact on the coming novels is lightly touched, and, again, is only presented in asides or as elements of the current novel.  

For example, Harry makes a comment about his fairy Godmother and how scary she is.  Later, The Leanansidhe, or Lea, will become a major character who will both hinder and help Harry in her sociopathic fae way.  

What is most original about Butcher's worldbuilding is his use of the various types of magic.  One of my personal favorite uses of magic in STORM FORCE is Harry's calling of the wind in the destruction of the first scorpion when he pushes the elevator upward to squash it, his dramatic windy entrance into Marcone's restaurant to regain his cut hair, and his wind levitation up onto the balcony in the lake house as his dramatic entrance before the black wizard.

PART FIVE:

http://mbyerly.blogspot.com/2013/06/jim-butchers-storm-front-part-5.html

Jim Butcher's STORM FRONT, Part 3

THE STRUCTURE OF THE DETECTIVE NOVEL

NOTE:  I am using "Plotting the Detective Novel" as my model.

http://ticket2write.tripod.com/id28.html

Here is the standard structure of the detective novel.

1. Begin with a dramatic event.  Discover the crime and the mystery to be solved.

2. Clues point toward the method and the motives behind the crime.

3. Introduce or tell more about the sleuth.  Reveal some of his background.

4. Give a better sense of the time and place of the crime.  

5. The PI begins to follow the path to the solution of the crime.  Introduce probable suspects with motives and opportunity.  Let the PI interview them.

6. The crime proves to be more complicated than originally thought.

7. The subplot is introduced. 

8. Reveal facts about suspects, through interrogations and the discovery of clues.

9. The flight or disappearance of one or more suspect complicates things.

10. Develop a sense of urgency. Raise the stakes or make it evident that if the mystery is not solved soon, there will be terrible consequences.

11. The investigation should broaden to put suspicion on other characters.

12. Information gathered through interviews or the discovery of physical evidence should point toward the solution, although the relevance may not yet be apparent.

13. Make it clear that the sleuth has a personal stake in the outcome, either because of a threat to his or her life, or the possibility of revelation of matters deeply disturbing to the protagonist on an emotional level.

14. Change of focus and scope of the investigation. This is the pivotal point in the story where it become evident that the sleuth was on the wrong track. Something unexpected occurs, and the story must take a new direction.

15.  Reveal hidden motives. Formerly secret relationships come to light, such as business arrangements, romantic involvements, scores to be settled or previously veiled kinships.

16. Develop and expose meanings of matters hinted at earlier to slowly clarify the significance of earlier clues.

17.  The sleuth reveals the results of the investigation. The reader, as well as the protagonist and other characters, are given an opportunity to review what is known and assess the possibilities.

18. The solution of the crime appears to be impossible. Attempts to solve the crime have stymied the sleuth. Misinterpretation of clues or mistaken conclusions have lead him or her in the wrong direction, and logic must be applied to force a new way of grasping an understanding of the uncertainties.

19.  Have the sleuth review the case to determine where he or she went wrong.

20. Reveal the chain of events which provoked the crime.

21. The crucial evidence is something overlooked early in the story, which appeared to have been of little consequence at the time it was first disclosed. 

22.  The sleuth becomes aware of the error which remains undisclosed to the other characters.

23. The sleuth weighs the evidence and information gleaned from the other characters. Based on what only he or she now knows, the sleuth must seek positive proof to back up the yet undisclosed conclusion.

24. Resolution of the sub-plot.  

25. The Climax - a dramatic confrontation between the sleuth and the perpetrator in which the sleuth prevails. The more impossible the odds have been, the more rewarding the climax will be.

26. Resolution - Revelation of clues and the deductive process which lead to the solution. Establish that the case has been solved and justice has been served to the satisfaction of all involved except the villain.

STORM FRONT'S DETECTIVE STORY PATTERN 

Now, let's compare the plot of STORM FRONT to the classic detective story. 

1. Begin with a dramatic event.  Discover the crime and the mystery to be solved.

After a brief introduction to Harry and his wizard background, Monica makes an appointment with Dresden to discuss a missing person's case. 

Murphy asks Dresden to help her solve a double murder which appears to be caused by magic.  He agrees that magic caused the deaths, but he doesn't want to delve too deeply in the method because of Warden Morgan's surveillance.  He decides to investigate the murders, instead. 

2.  Clues point toward the method and the motives behind the crime.

Harry realizes the deaths could only be caused by black magic by a method he can't figure out, and he theorizes that the killer was after both people, and it is a woman. 

3. Introduce or tell more about the sleuth.  Reveal some of his background.

While all this is happening, Harry thinks of his own background as a wizard.

4. Give a better sense of the time and place of the crime.  

Harry and Murphy determine the when of the crime, and the magical/criminal aspects of both victims.

5. The PI begins to follow the path to the solution of the crime.  Introduce probable suspects with motives and opportunity.  Let the PI interview them.

Harry meets crime boss Marcone who tells him to back off.  He makes plans to interview Bianca.  

6. The crime proves to be more complicated than originally thought.

Harry realizes how hard it would be for one wizard to kill the two victims, and he can't figure out how Marcone or Bianca could control a coven of black wizards.  Neither seems the type to use black magic when ordinary violence would have worked just as well.

7. The subplot is introduced. 

Harry meets Monica who tells him of her missing husband who has been dabbling in real magic, gives him a dried scorpion, and the lake house clue.  

Later, he sees Susan, the reporter and love interest, and she invites him on a date.

8. Reveal facts about suspects through interrogations and the discovery of clues.

Harry visits the lake house, gains clues from Toot Toot, and is threatened by Morgan.

Later, Dresden will interview Bianca but turns her into an enemy.  She tells him about Linda, the female victim's closest friend.  Linda rattles him with her sexuality but can give him no clue to Jennifer's death.  He meets her employers, the Beckitts.

9. The flight or disappearance of one or more suspects complicates things.

Monica's husband Victor is nowhere to be found, and Linda doesn't show up to meet Harry.

10. Develop a sense of urgency. Raise the stakes or make it evident that, if the mystery is not solved soon, there will be terrible consequences.

Harry is knocked out with a warning to stay out of the investigation.  He now believes the murders are part of a gang war between Marcone and the Three Eye drug dealers.   More than one wizard was needed to murder these people.

Harry and Susan are attacked by a toad demon, and Harry meets the black wizard who uses the power of thunderstorms to increase his power to kill his earlier victims.  Harry realizes that the next storm will be his death if he doesn't stop this evil wizard.

Morgan tells Harry that he will be tried for the murders, will not believe a black wizard is out there, and won't help Harry stop him. 

11. The investigation should broaden to put suspicion on other characters.

When Linda is found dead with an exploded heart and Harry's business card, Murphy knows he's been lying to her.  

An unknown man knocks Harry down and cuts of a lock of his hair for evil magical purposes.

12. Information gathered through interviews or the discovery of physical evidence should point toward the solution, although the relevance may not yet be apparent.

Harry tracks down his attacker, one of Marcone's goons, to a restaurant.  Marcone shoots this man when Harry proves he's been working for the Three Eye dealers.  

Harry goes to Linda's apartment and meets a man who took pictures of the orgy at the lake house where sex and the storm fueled the murder of the first two victims.

13. Make it clear that the sleuth has a personal stake in the outcome, either because of a threat to his or her life, or the possibility of revelation of matters deeply disturbing to the protagonist on an emotional level.

Harry is now positive that he will die during the next storm if he doesn't stop the black wizard.

14. Change of focus and scope of the investigation. This is the pivotal point in the story where it become evident that the sleuth was on the wrong track. Something unexpected occurs, so the story must take a new direction.

Harry realizes that Monica's husband is the black wizard who makes the Three Eye, and his two cases are one.   

15.  Reveal hidden motives. Formerly secret relationships come to light, such as business arrangements, romantic involvement's, scores to be settled, or previously veiled kinships.

Harry discovers that Jennifer was Monica's sister, and she had tried to protect Monica's kids from their evil father.  Linda died because she was going to tell Harry the truth.

16, 17, and 18. Develop and expose meanings of matters hinted in the first chapters to slowly clarify the significance of earlier clues. The sleuth reveals the results of the investigation. The reader, as well as the protagonist and other characters, are given an opportunity to review what is known and assess the possibilities. The solution of the crime appears to be impossible. Attempts to solve the crime have stymied the sleuth. Misinterpretation of clues or mistaken conclusions have lead him or her in the wrong direction, and logic must be applied to force a new way of grasping an understanding of the uncertainties.

Harry finally pulls all the clues together and calls Murphy who won't listen to him because she believes he's one of the bad guys.  

He saves her from the giant scorpion and goes after the black wizard as a thunderstorm begins to move in.

19-23.  Have the sleuth review the case to determine where he or she went wrong, reveal the chain of events, and missed evidence.

Harry really doesn't do this, but he rethinks the crime.  And being Harry, he goes after the killer before the killer can get him instead of going to the authorities.

24. Resolution of the sub-plot

Harry promises Monica that he will protect her and her children.

25.   The Climax - a dramatic confrontation between the sleuth and the perpetrator in which the sleuth prevails. The more impossible the odds have been, the more rewarding the climax will be.

Harry faces Victor, the Beckitts, a bunch of giant scorpions, and the toad demon and wins.  

26. Resolution - Revelation of clues and the deductive process which lead to the solution. Establish that the case has been solved and justice has been served to the satisfaction of all involved except the villain.

Morgan saves Harry after Harry has done all the work of stopping the black wizard.  Morgan admits that he was wrong about Harry being the black wizard.  The Doom of Damocles is lifted.  Murphy drops the charges against Harry, but their trusting relationship is damaged.  Monica's family is taken into the witness protection program.  

WHEN PLOT AND SUBPLOTS COLLIDE

Harry is on two cases in this novel, and, unsurprisingly for this kind of novel, the two cases are really one case.

Writers do this all the time, but often the two plots being one are a giant coincidence.  That is very bad writing.

In this novel, Butcher saves himself from Evil Giant Coincidence by giving a logical explanation.

Monica calls him about Victor, aka the black wizard, because Harry is the only magical who advertises in the Yellow Pages.  (The Wardens would do well to follow Harry's example.)

She points him in Victor's direction in hopes that Harry will take Victor out, or, at the least, distract him from herself and her kids.  

She has also pointed her sister Jennifer, aka the first heart explosion victim, in Victor's direction which made Jennifer his first victim.

Since Harry is the only openly practicing wizard, it's moderately logical that he be called into this case by the police.

When you are figuring out plot, allow yourself one very minor coincidence, at that.  Everything else should make sense.

Another flaw with the subplot is that Harry really doesn't work this case enough for it to be a genuine subplot which makes it more obvious to the reader that the two plots are one.

PART 4:

http://mbyerly.blogspot.com/2013/06/jim-butchers-storm-front-part-4.html