The Misunderstanding as Humor

 I have never written strictly comic stories, my writing tends toward darker or more serious stories, but I like to add comic elements.  These elements are situational, not in the sense of a situation comedy filled with punch lines, but the humor lies in the situation.  

Humor changes the pace of the story, can reflect on what is happening, or gives the reader another side of a character.

One type of humorous scene has one character totally misunderstanding or not having the right information in a situation.  

This example is from an unpublished category romance of mine called COURTING DISASTER.  The hero and heroine work at the same sporting goods store during the Christmas rush, and they’ve finished a full day of work.  They chat in the parking lot at their cars.  Cody is very interested in Maggie, but she’s not interested in any man because she wants to remain true to her late husband.  For the first time, she’s beginning to see that maybe this isn’t quite as easy a life decision as she thought.  

The punchline for this misunderstanding is that Molly is Cody’s golden retriever puppy, but Maggie doesn’t know this.  The reader is in on this joke because Molly was in an earlier scene with Cody. 

Cody sighed loudly.  "On a night like tonight, I'm glad I don't have to go home to an empty house.  Nothing’s worse than an empty house and a dinner for one.”

Maggie’s heart twitched more painfully than her feet.  That was exactly what was waiting for her.  An empty house.  “You have a housemate?”

"No.  I was talking about Molly."  They stopped by Maggie's car, and Cody grinned inanely.  "I must admit Molly turns me into a pile of mush when I'm around her.  I never expected to be as crazy over her as I am.”

Cold settled in Maggie's heart.  "That's nice." 

"I really miss her when I'm working.  I promised her I'd spend tomorrow morning with her.  I can already guess what will happen.  She'll curl up against me in bed early tomorrow morning, rest her head on my chest, and stare at me with those big brown eyes until I wake up.”

Vivid images flashed through Maggie's head.  A beautiful woman naked against Cody, her head resting on his magnificent bare chest--he probably had curly auburn hair on it--and he'd..., and she'd...  Maggie fumbled for her keys in her purse, her head down to hide embarrassment and envy.

"Later, we'll go for a run in the woods and find some fallen leaves to play in.  She loves fallen leaves.  We'll play in the leaves, then I'll scratch her tummy, and her tail will really wiggle.  Then we'll snuggle."

Considerably more than her tail would wiggle if he scratched her tummy.  But she didn't want her tummy scratched!  Not by him, not by anybody.  She was an adult, she was Jeff's widow, she was....  She was jealous of Molly.  

Flustered by that knowledge, Maggie unlocked her car door.  "Well, have a nice day off."

"I intend to." 

I didn’t want the reader to think Cody was deliberately fooling Maggie about Molly’s identity so I had him tell her about his puppy earlier although he failed to mention her name which was an honest omission on his part, not a mean joke.

I also didn’t want Maggie to be an idiot about this mistake so I let her realize her error a few paragraphs later when Cody shows her the new collar he got for Molly.  This also allows her to question her own feelings about Cody and her determined decision to remain a widow.  

To make this light moment more than a throw-away joke, I made Molly an integral part of the plot through the novel.  

For a light moment to work in a novel, it should never be a throw-away joke.

Sex and Action Scenes

Recently, I read a paranormal novel about a romantic couple fighting demons. During the action scenes, they were so busy fantasizing about the other’s crotch that I wondered at the brains and survival skills of these people. In the real world, a fighter who is busy thinking about sex before and during a fight is a dead fighter.

The pace was also ruined because the constant sexual elements and sexual introspection distracted from the peril.

Brief bits of body language--a touch, a smile, or caress, as well as brief snippets of romantic dialogue can keep the sexual tension and caring evident without bringing the story to a dead halt.

Wait until a lull in the fighting to put your couple in a safe hiding place where they can repair their wounds and chase each other around the bed.

The important thing to remember is that even in a romantic story, sex shouldn’t be paramount in action scenes, but after the battle is won, all that extra adrenaline is a nice appetizer to sex. 

Character Emotions During Action Scenes

 The viewpoint character's emotions and senses must be as much at play in a fight or action scene as his body and weapons. 

I make a special effort to include all the senses in my descriptions. What does he hear? See? Smell? Taste? Feel?

How do he react to killing someone? The death of a friend?

Adding emotion isn't an either/or situation. It's just as vital to add emotional layers to the physical action as it is to have brief moments of introspection when the battle isn't going on.

Characterization also isn't just introspection. It's characters interacting with each other and revealing themselves in bits and pieces.

Your band of adventurers may not sit around "sharing their feelings" in touchie-feelie moments like a Dr. Phil show, but they've been around each other enough to know that one hates the bad guys because they murdered his wife and kids, and he's liable to attack without thought and ruin their surprise attack.

He may be clutching the sword at his side, his other hand opening and closing in nervous energy, and another adventurer may warn him to relax and may mention the wife and kiddies.

The image of his wife's raped and brutalized body could flash through his mind, and he fights his raw anger and lust to kill. That won't slow the action down like having a long interior flashback of him finding his family's bodies, and his vow of revenge. Instead, it adds to the excitement of the coming action because the reader now questions whether this guy will lose his cool and get everyone killed.

An even better way to present this information is to put it in an earlier scene that isn't action intensive so the reader will know the details and will only need a slight reminder of this character's motivation and tendency to attack without thought.

Remember, though, that a character's emotions are meant to increase the intensity of the scene, not slow it down or mar its pacing.

Pace and Characterization

Action and a fast pace doesn't preclude emotion, and a story can't be all hack and slash.

Years ago, when the INDIANA JONES movies were so wildly popular, a publisher created an action book series with the pace of the opening scene of the original INDIANA JONES where disaster builds upon disaster upon disaster with no real stopping for breath.

I read the first book, and it was bloody awful because the action became boring and silly at such a lunatic pace, and there was so little personality to the main character or any of the other characters I didn't give a damn one way or the other what happened.

EXAMPLE: A bear chases the hero up a tree, he thinks the tree is safe, but it's rotten, and the bear begins to shove it over, the tree lands in the river, but it's infested with alligators, and there are bad guys on the other side of the river, and a bear on this side. He out swims the gators to a bridge and begins to climb up a vine growing up its side, but, ooops, there's a large poisonous snake right above him, and....

Needless to say, that series vanished without a trace after a few books.

Pace isn’t just violent act after violent act, or the characters moving from one place to another. It’s mixing characterization and elements that move the emotional and action plot forward. It’s giving the reader continual questions about the characters and what’s happening and answering a few of those questions as you move along.

It’s having a quiet moment of introspection or a brief comic moment in the heat of a long battle that reminds the reader why they’re reading the story or why they like these characters. 

Second Book Syndrome

Second book syndrome has several definitions.  One refers to the writing process of the second book after the successful publication of the first book.  The writer fears that they won’t be able to write as good a book as the first.  Or, they fear that the first book was a fluke, and they really don’t know what they are doing.  Some authors become so frozen with fear that they can’t move forward with their writing.  

The other definition refers to the time after the second book has been written and published.  The reading audience discovers the writer’s paranoia about his skills were right, and the second book fails to deliver what the first book did.

Margaret Mitchell was so terrified of failure after GONE WITH THE WIND she reportedly decided not to publish another novel.  Robert James Waller who wrote the phenomenally successful bestseller, THE BRIDGES OF MADISON COUNTY, proved to be a one-hint wonder.  All his other books failed to even remotely achieve the success of this novel.  So, yes, second book syndrome does exist.

I’ve discovered a new kind of second book syndrome in a series.  In the last month I’ve read two urban fantasies that were a second in the series, and both failed badly for the very same reason.  Up to sixty pages at the beginning of the book were nothing but clean up between the plot ending of the first book, and the plot beginning of the second book.  

Minor unresolved problems were answered, and characters discussed their relationships and careers that have been changed because of the first book's events.

I imagine all this was vastly important to the author and some readers, but it was a massive brick wall to a majority of readers.  

A second book should start like any book.  The reader should be immediately shoved directly into the book with an important plot goal and engaging characters and should be kept there for the remainder of the book.  

If you think some things should be clarified or expanded, wait until a bit later and have the character explain to a friend why she no longer works for the police, or why she fears her friends may be targeted by her enemy.  

Also, let the reader intuit some changes.  If they read the first book, they can usually guess why things have changed, and if they didn’t read the first book, they won’t care as long as you give enough information to cover the current situation.  

And, remember, this holds true for all the books in a series.  Successful series writers never maunder about at the beginning of each novel, and neither should you.  

Using Index Cards to Plot Your Novel

I start out with a general premise or one image or scene as the embryo for my novels. 

For STAR-CROSSED, the premise came after I read a romance novel which used sexual slavery as sexy fun and titillation. Horrified by the book's treatment of women, I had the evil thought--what would happen if men were the sex slaves, not women? 

By switching the genders, I would be able to make my points about the inhumanity of such treatment and the corrosive results on a society as a whole. I would also have one heck of a romantic adventure setting on another planet. 

I then asked myself what kind of heroine and hero did I need to tell the story I wanted to tell. The heroine would have to be from this society but against the harem system. She would have to be brave and willing to sacrifice everything for what she believes in, have enormous kindness and sympathy, and be totally ignorant of men. Mara d'Jorel was born.

The hero couldn't be a member of this society because the men on Arden are trained from birth to be protected darlings who don't worry their pretty little heads about anything. Something about him, beyond his looks, would have to attract Mara so she would consider taking a sex slave against her moral beliefs. I made him a famous scientist in Mara's field. ("He's not a man, he's a scientist!") 

He would have to be worthy of her emotionally by having enormous love, kindness, and courage, but he would need some flaw which would drive them apart. The flaw would somehow reflect the premise of the story. 

I decided that he wants a woman to love him for himself, not for his fame, looks, and wealth, and no relationship is more shallow and less likely to go beyond looks than sexual slavery. He would have to be insecure and distrustful of any woman's attachment to him. Earthman Tristan Mallory was born.

To develop my novel beyond this point, I used Ben Bova's (THE CRAFT OF WRITING SCIENCE FICTION THAT SELLS) plot and character development tools. He believes that plot is a characterization device. You must examine your character and find his/her one glaring weakness and attack it through plot. 

The protagonist should have a complex set of emotional problems where two opposing feelings are struggling with each other. Emotion A vs. Emotion B. (guilt vs. duty, pride vs. obedience, fear vs. responsibility, etc.) He calls the conflict incompatible aims and desires. 

This conflict should exist on many levels beginning deep within the protagonist's psyche and should well up into the conflict between the protagonist and the other characters. Resolution of that conflict is the story. He calls it an interior struggle made exterior by focusing on an antagonist (not necessarily a human enemy) who attacks the protagonist's emotional problem. 

Using these ideas of Bova, I started jotting notes about the possible emotion conflicts within each major character and between the characters in STAR-CROSSED. Here are some of the things my notes suggested: 

Mara & Tristan in unfeasible power positions, a struggle to regain equality between them.

Villainess Cadaran as embodiment of the evil government and the evils of the harem. Tristan's best friend Kellen must become Cadaran's bed slave and face the true indignities of the harem which Mara spares Tristan from.

Kellen vs. Cadaran, Kellen's attempts at escape -- major subplot.

Another plot conflict/subplot: Tristan's female friend Dorian must discover that Tristan & Kellen aren't dead, and she figures out about harem planet and must come to their rescue. 

Emotional conflict from this: Dorian believes herself in love with Tristan. Tristan uncertain of his feelings for her. Dorian's presence will tear apart the fragile bond between Tristan & Mara as his escape releases him from Mara's control. 

Tristan's emotional conflict-- anger at harem society with Mara as representative vs. love for Mara as individual. 

Theme: freedom through love, the importance of trust.

Kellen as foil to Tristan: 

Kellen's emotional conflict-- hatred of society and struggle to retain emotional dignity. 

his inner freedom vs. the hopelessness at being victim of an inescapable system. 

Possible small conflicts: 

Mara's housekeeper Novia acts as spy for Cadaran. 

Mara's intelligent alien pet Floppy hates Tristan. 

Mara becomes laughingstock when she takes a bed slave because her beloved dead mother was opposed to sexual slavery.

Well, you get the idea. At this point, I started my note cards. On each note card, I put down a major scene or turning point in the central plot of the novel. Each of these scenes gives several important pieces of information on plot or character as well as moving the novel forward by causing change. Some of these scenes are obvious. The meeting of the hero and heroine, for example. 

This card said: 

Mara tracks down Tristan at hospital. She is shocked at his injuries yet attracted by his unfamiliar maleness. The nurse tries to throw her out. Tristan drags himself out of his coma-like state and reacts to her.  Her kindness and her regard for this brilliant scientist as well as her attraction to him makes her decide that she will fight the government to keep him alive and out of the harem, whatever the cost.

After I finished the major scene and turning point cards, I was able to add cards of events that had to happen between these events. 

I also made note cards of the subplots. (Each subplot must reflect or influence the main plot, and must change the plot for better or worse.)

I laid out the cards for the main plot, then I tried to figure out where the subplots would fit in with it. Most were just decisions in plot and time logic. Some were decisions about pace and emotional impact. 

For example, just after the scene where Tristan & Mara finally admit their emotional attraction and hope for a true future between them, I put the scene where Dorian decides to rescue Tristan and declares her determination to marry him. This scene adds tension, not only because Tristan may be rescued from the evil harem (a good thing), but also because Dorian will destroy Mara's hopes for happiness (a bad thing). 

Normally, I write the first three chapters at this point. Here, I learn even more about my characters and plot, and I discover holes in my plot logic and have to change my note card order. After these chapters, I type out a plot summary from the compiled note cards. I find even more plot holes which I correct.

The most important thing to remember is that the note cards and plot summary aren't carved in stone. The book will change as you write it. You must decide if that change is viable to your overall concept of the book and its premise. 

Characters' Emotional Reaction in Action Scenes

The viewpoint character's emotions and senses must be as much at play in a fight or action scene as his body and weapons. 

I make a special effort to include all the senses in my descriptions. What does he hear? See? Smell? Taste? Feel?

How do he react to killing someone? The death of a friend?

Adding emotion isn't an either/or situation. It's just as vital to add emotional layers to the physical action as it is to have brief moments of introspection when the battle isn't going on.

Characterization also isn't just introspection. It's characters interacting with each other and revealing themselves in bits and pieces.

Your band of adventurers may not sit around "sharing their feelings" in touchie-feelie moments like a Dr. Phil show, but they've been around each other enough to know that one hates the bad guys because they murdered his wife and kids, and he's liable to attack without thought and ruin their surprise attack.

He may be clutching the sword at his side, his other hand opening and closing in nervous energy, and another adventurer may warn him to relax and may mention the wife and kiddies.

The image of his wife's raped and brutalized body could flash through his mind, and he fights his raw anger and lust to kill. That won't slow the action down like having a long interior flashback of him finding his family's bodies, and his vow of revenge. Instead, it adds to the excitement of the coming action because the reader now questions whether this guy will lose his cool and get everyone killed.

An even better way to present this information is to put it in an earlier scene that isn't action intensive so the reader will know the details and will only need a slight reminder of this character's motivation and tendency to attack without thought.

Remember, though, that a character's emotions are meant to increase the intensity of the scene, not slow it down or mar its pacing.