Making A Long Story Short

 QUESTION: My novel is way too long. Someone suggested I cut four lines off every page instead of trying to cut whole chapters, etc.

Anyone who can do that needs to work on their writing skills because they are writing weak, bloated prose.

There are other ways to cut length.

From working with writers over the years, I'd say that the primary thing most writers need to cut is writer information. We sometimes do our thinking on the page before we write down what the reader needs to see, and we fail to cut that out.

Writers also tend toward too much introspection. If all a character is doing in a scene is thinking about other things, get rid of that scene and insert that information into dialogue.

The great Phyllis Whitney once said that the only reason a character should be folding laundry and thinking is so an ax murderer can sneak up on her, and the reader knows this through subtle clues.

There's also the rule of three. If a scene doesn't contain at least one or two plot points (information or events which move the plot forward), and one or two character points (important character information) so that you have at least three points total, then it should be tossed, and whatever points included in that scene should be added to another scene.

For major cuts, you can also consolidate several secondary characters into one character, or a subplot can be simplified or removed if it doesn't influence the major plot or the influence can be moved to another subplot.

Happy cutting!

Descriptions: Going from Specific to General

To give the reader the right image of what is happening, you should always be specific.  This is particularly important in the first description of a person, place, or thing.  

Look at the sentences below, and the introduction of the heroine’s dog, Digby.

Eager for their run, Digby whined and tugged on her leash.  

Jane laughed and began to jog down the greenway that ran behind her apartment.  

The dog kept pace until they reached the wooden bridge across the creek, then the golden retriever jerked to a halt and growled.  

Sentence one is fine.  “Whined” and “leash” tell the reader that Digby is a dog; however, the reader has no sense of what the dog looks like.  It could be a poodle or a Great Dane.

Sentence two is okay if bland.

Sentence three, however, starts with the general term “dog” which still doesn’t give the reader a clue about the dog.  Not until the end of this sentence does the reader learn that the dog is a golden retriever.  By this time, the specific jars the reader who may have already visualized the dog or has decided the dog isn’t important because of the vague description.

How could these sentence be improved?

Eager for their run, Jane’s golden retriever Digby whined and tugged on her leash.

Jane laughed and began to jog down the greenway that ran behind her apartment.  

The dog kept pace until they reached the wooden bridge across the creek then jerked to a halt and growled.  

The reader instantly knows Jane’s dog is a golden retriever so the writer can now use more general terms like dog. 

Just a few words used at the right time makes a difference between pulling the reader into your story or throwing them out.  

Who is the Main Character

Figuring out who the main character is in your novel is often hard for the romance writer when both the hero and heroine are strong personalities. 

The simplest way to find out is to ask yourself who has to change the most in very important ways to reach her/his goal.  That person is the main character.

The main character should act to reach that goal and earn it, not have it happen to him/her as a matter of events. 

Why do you need to know?  If you know, you can make the novel stronger by emphasizing that character’s changes. 

And when it comes time to market that novel to a publisher or the reader, you’ll know who to emphasize when you describe your novel.

Vocabulary Clues

 QUESTION: I'm writing a Victorian steampunk novel, and I'm trying to be accurate about the period by using correct terminology for everything, but I'm afraid terms like "gaiter" will stymie readers. What can I do?

A good writer gives some clue in the writing's context in a situation like this.

You would say something like 

Miranda lifted her skirt slightly and glanced down at her feet. Blood spattered her gaiters.

The reader then would think, "Oh, shoes," which is close enough to what gaiters are for the reader to understand.

If the heroine removes the gaiters from over her shoes to hide the evidence that she'd been near the body, then the reader would get a closer hint that the gaiter partially covers her shoe.

Either way, you would not be talking down to the audience, and you'd give them information that they need as well as a hint they may or may not need.

Ing the Merciless

 QUESTION:  A published author told me that "-ing" words are weak and should be avoided. Is this right? 

Pick up any book on writing style or editing, and you'll see that "-ing" phrases have a bad reputation.  

As part of an introductory phrase, it's overused and prone to misuse.  

Misuse -- Picking up the gun, she walked across the room and shot him.

The introductory phrase happens at the same time as the verbs in the sentence do so the sentence above is impossible.

Proper use -- Grasping his shoulder, he fell.  

The verb and the introductory phrase can be done at the same time so it's correct.

Overuse -- Too many of them weaken the writing as any overuse weakens writing.  They also slow the reader’s speed so they can screw up the pace in scenes.  Think of them as bumps in the road that make the reader pause.  

I'm prone to using them to avoid having too many sentences beginning with "he" or "she."  That's where rewriting the rewriting comes in.  

The other common overuse is attaching the "-ing" phrase to a dialogue tag.  "I don't like it," she said, shaking her red correction pencil in my face.  

A way to avoid this and write a stronger sentence would be—  “I don’t like this.”  She shook her red correction pencil in my face.