Starting with the Murder Victim

 A common practice on TV mysteries is to start out with the discovery of the dead body.  NCIS, for example, is notorious for funny or gross body discoveries to start the mystery.  

Or the show uses the ever popular death on screen of the victim of the week.  Unless it’s COLUMBO, the viewer doesn’t know the identity of the murderer.  They just see some poor soul chased and murdered.

That’s TV, a very visual medium, but is it a good idea to start with the murder or the murder victim?  

Like all things in writing, it depends.  Here are some possible reasons to start with the body or the murder.

The writer makes the reader care immediately with a personable or sympathetic victim in viewpoint.  Clues and false clues can be presented to get the reader’s crime-solving started at that first page.  

The murderer as the viewpoint character ups the scare factor because it’s obvious he intends to do it again as a serial killer, or he has a vendetta against the book’s hero.  The hero may realize this, early on, but the reader knows already and is flipping pages like mad because he’s worried about the main character.  

Reader expectations.  If this book is about solving a murder, and the main character is a professional crime solver,  the body should be front and center from the beginning.  Only a cozy mystery is allowed some time to set up the characters, etc., without the reader getting bored.  

Atmosphere.  A chase through the darkness or the murder can really set the book’s tone and atmosphere.  This is more a side effect of the other reasons to start with the murder, and shouldn’t be the only reason.

Excitement before the boring part.  If the mystery needs considerable set up, the murder gets the reader reading then hopefully keeps him reading until the pace picks up a bit.

Later then now.  A technique which is no longer popular with good reason is to start at the murder, then go back in narrative time before that point.  It’s a cheap trick that will make most readers roll their eyes.  Use with great caution.  

How to Foreshadow

 I'm sure you've watched a movie or TV show where a character is getting ready to open a door, and you just know that the killer is waiting for her. You scream, "No, no, don't open that door!"

How do you know something the character doesn't? Part of that is foreshadowing. The filmmaker has given you clues that the character doesn't have.

For a written story, an author doesn't have the luxury of using spooky music or atmospheric lighting, but she does have other tricks to give the reader the same sense of something lurking behind that closed door.

The simplest way to do this is to have more than one viewpoint in your story. For example, one character learns that the killer is going after your heroine, then when you switch to the heroine's viewpoint, the reader will be expecting something bad to happen.

You can also write from the bad guy’s viewpoint to warn the reader what he’s up to.

Another way is to embed a clue that the heroine sees but doesn't recognize as important because she's learning so much and being menaced at the same time. The reader will often pick up on the clue and recognize the danger.

Or your character is more ignorant or innocent than the reader. A child may misunderstand a situation an adult would recognize as dangerous, and the person who refuses to believe a psychopath or monster is lurking will be easy prey in the reader's eyes.

A subtle use of language also works. Stephen King is a master of giving the reader the creeps when nothing appears to be happening but soon will. I recommend his ON WRITING which should be in your local library for more on the subject. A caveat on King: When he says this is the only way to do this, he’s wrong.  What works for one writer might not work for another.  

Genre expectations are an easy way to worry the reader. In a horror novel, the reader is expecting that scare so it takes almost nothing to make her tense as the character opens that door in the empty house that may be the killer's hiding place.

A common use of genre expectations is to set up a scary situation then let it fizzle, and the moment the character and the reader let their guard down, the killer makes his move.

Foreshadowing doesn't have to be about unhappy or dangerous things to come. You can as easily foreshadow happy events. The square shape in the hero's tuxedo jacket pocket may be a diamond engagement ring box, and he and the heroine are dining at a very nice restaurant, after all, so you and the heroine may be guessing which way the meal will end.

As an author, you must lay down the clues so the reader will think the worse or best of coming events.  Let them be just as excited as you are when the movie character starts to open the wrong door.  

Using Music in Fiction

Music is extremely powerful, evoking intense emotion, history, memory, and physical movement in a way that fiction and most other types of communication cannot.  Many writers use that emotional and historical element by mentioning music titles and song lyrics as a short hand for those emotions.  

But here’s the problem.  Music has copyright protectors who are beyond zealots.  Copyright fair use and proper attribution which are both perfectly legal don’t matter to them, and they, usually ASCAP, will go after a writer for even the slightest mention.  They have the lawyers and the money so they win almost every time.  

If an author does go through ASCAP, the band’s legal people, or a brand like Disney to license a few lines, the costs are ridiculous.  An acquaintance tried, and using two lines of a lyric from an obscure band would have cost her more than she’d make for the life of the book.  

So, what’s a writer to do?  Some write their own song lyrics.  Others work very carefully around the ridiculous copyright landmines.

Here, in two scenes from my unpublished novel, THE LAUGHING GOD’S KISS.  Cautiously treading around those copyright landmines, I use a song title, a few words of the lyrics, or some careful editing to evoke those emotions.  They also reflect emotional moments for two people who are already falling in love but refuse to admit it, even to themselves.  

Storm bent over his guitar and started  "Yesterday."  

Gazing around at all the rapt faces in the living room, Victoria realized this was a virgin audience for the song.  These isolated people had never even heard of the Beatles.  

Storm sang, his voice catching with melancholy at the loss of a great and true love.  His face, for the first time, was vulnerable and open with emotion.

Victoria's heart twisted with his pain as she wondered whom he'd loved so much and why he'd lost her. 

***

Across the pasture, a familiar baritone voice sang softly.  Victoria caught the words "corn" and "elephant's eye."  Intrigued, she moved closer.

His back to her, Storm brushed briskly on the black gelding as he sang.  The black's ears were cocked back to hear him.  His other three horses watched him, their ears forward.  None of them had a rope or line on, each held by his voice and presence.

Equally entranced, Victoria sat down in the shade of a nearby tree. 

Storm sang "Oh, What a Beautiful Morning" with the feeling and skill worthy of Broadway, his black velvet voice soaring.   

As his voice faded at the end of the song, the horses began to fidget.

Storm began "If I Loved You.“

Victoria closed her eyes to savor the music.  The song was about love unadmitted yet so tenderly expressed.  It had moved her when she'd seen Carousel. 

If a voice could make love to a woman, then Storm Morgan had that voice.  Victoria let the song take her where it would.

NOTE:  

No, I’m not saying copyright is wrong, or you should ignore it.  Those who have followed me for years know that I’m a strong proponent of copyright, I write informative articles about it, and I’ve fought piracy for many years.  However, ASCAP and friends are using their money and clout to stop even fair use which is not okay.  As usual, this disclaimer: I’m not a lawyer and can’t offer legal advice.  My examples are how I would avoid being sued by ASCAP.  You must decide for yourself whether to risk a lawsuit or nastygram from some lawyers.

Maintaining Tone

QUESTION: I have very abbreviated writing time so I can only work in spurts so my mood comes into the text sometimes. How can I stop that? 

The trick to holding the tone of the scene is to remember that you are the viewpoint character. You are seeing what she sees and feeling what she feels. Writing character is like immersion or method acting where you become the character.

This takes a bit of practice, but after a bit, you can switch between characters and personalities with ease as you change POV, and you can also inhabit the other characters in the scene so they continue to act as you've conceived them, and their dialogue is in character.

You also have to remember that your character should be reacting to what is happening at that moment rather than constantly sliding into introspection about the rest of her life. If you and she remains in the moment of the scene, neither of you will lose the right voice or tone of the scene. 

Beta Readers

QUESTION:  What is a beta reader?

The term "beta reader" is a bit mushy in definition according to who uses it, but the most common usage is a reader who reads most if not all of your book after you write it and before you send it off to the agent or editor.  That's as opposed to a critique partner who works with you through the whole process.  

Often the beta reader is a reader, not a writer, so you are allowing a test run of your book.  The beta reader should be a fan of your genre.  Someone who hates romance or doesn’t read it isn’t your ideal audience. 

Sometimes, if your book has specialized knowledge in it, your beta reader is an expert on that knowledge so they are reading to be certain you got it right.  For example, if your heroine is a physicist and her theories are part of the story, you should find a physicist in her field to vet the book for accuracy.  Often, these readers will only read specific parts of the novel that deals with their specialty.  

Like critique partners, some beta readers are excellent while others are absolutely useless.  Be sure to have more than one so you get a better sense of both the quality of the readers as well as the quality of your novel.  

Ethics of Critiquing

 Never talk about what you critique to others.

Never show someone else's work to others.

Never "borrow" a critique partner's ideas or characters.

Respect others' time. Critique in a timely manner, and don't send your life's work at once.

Agree upon an amount of work (a chapter or more) and stick to it unless the other person agrees to see more.

Agree on what each of you wants from a critique and give it. Some of the choices are a general overview, copyediting only, or a check on accuracy from an expert.  

The checklist I blogged about last week is also a good starting place.

Be specific. Be fair. Be kind. Don't say, "I hate this." Say, "Your hero is unpleasant because...," or, "He may be rude to the heroine here, but show he is a nice person to others so the reader can like him and see him as a worthy hero."

ALSO mention what works. "The heroine is really charming. I loved the way she...," or "Your descriptions are excellent. I could see the waves around the pirate ship and smell the ocean."

Don't be too kind. If you see a problem, mention it so it can be fixed. It's kinder in the long term for her to know this problem now rather than in the rejection letter from an editor.

Ask questions if you don't understand a comment, but don't defend your work. It's a waste of time for both of you.

Anger is a waste of time, as well. It's no fun to be told that your writing isn't perfect, but you'll have to learn to deal with it. Even the best writers in the world have editors who change things so learn to deal with criticism or forget about a writing career.

If you can’t control your anger, walk away from the critique for a while then come back.  

Respect each other's voice and individuality. Don't suggest rewrites as you would do it.  Instead, suggest rewrites that will improve the author's vision.

Respect your own voice and vision. The critiquer can only give SUGGESTIONS. Only you can decide whether to change your work. Only you know what you are trying to achieve with the entire book.

Always thank your critiquer because she gave up writing time to help you.

NOTE:  Feel free to copy this to share with a critique partner, but if you'd like to share this text otherwise online, please ask my permission.  You need not ask permission to link back to this article.  

Critiquing Questions

 The critique questions below are only some of the questions you'll ask yourself as you critique another person's work. Add to this list as you need to.

It’s always a good idea for both of you to have a list to share with the other.  

CRITIQUING A CHAPTER OVER A PERIOD OF TIME (SEVERAL REWRITES)

THE FIRST CRITIQUE QUESTIONS

The first critique should be an overview of plot and character. Questions you should ask include--

Does this chapter advance the story?

Tell more about the characters?

Give plot information?

Does it work with the chapter before it?

Specific elements to examine in a general critique are

PLOT

Do the characters and plot work well together, or is the plot just pasted on?

Does it make sense?

Does one thing lead to another?

Has the story started at the right place?

Does the action escalate?

Are more plot questions asked before a plot question is resolved?

Does the plot fit genre boundaries?

CHARACTERS

Does each character sound different?

Are the characters doing what they, as characters and personalities, should be doing, or are they being moved around for the convenience of the author?

Do we understand why they are doing certain things?

Does each major character have a strength and a weakness which will be affected by the plot?

In the romantic relationship, is their emotional conflict strong enough for the length of the work?

Will it take more than one long talk to resolve their conflict?

Does their romantic relationship work with the action plot?

In the action plot, is the conflict between the hero and his opponent strong enough?

Is the opponent strong enough to really push the hero to his limits?

LATER CRITIQUES

Later critiques should also examine the nuts and bolts of grammar, spelling, language, dialogue, point of view, correct historical and scientific information, etc.